I dreamed that I opened up the fridge in my parents' house and it was full of broken eggshells. Puzzled, I examined the shells and saw that they still had the whites inside, but the yolks had been carefully removed from each. As I stood there trying to figure out what could have caused this, in my peripheral vision I saw a daddy longlegs scurrying out of the kitchen with an egg yolk on its back. I chased after it, but it slipped into a heater vent before I could catch it. Then in the hallway I saw another daddy longlegs with another egg yolk on its back, which also escaped from me down a heater vent. I figured that the raid on the fridge must have been perpetuated by hundreds of daddy longlegs, but I had never heard of them exhibiting this type of behavior. So I looked up an article on Wikipedia and I discovered that I had incorrectly identified the creature - it was a closely related cousin of the daddy longlegs called a 'yolk spider'.
I decided that I was going to stand up to the yolk spiders, so I assembled a crack team to help me track them down and terminate them, consisting of my friend Tyler Oliphant, Tim "The Toolman" Taylor (it was Tim Allen, but in the dream he was playing the Home Improvement character), and Mike and Matt Chapman (a.k.a. "The Brothers Chaps," makers of Homestar Runner cartoons). We went into my parents' basement and climbed into a mid-sized spaceship that was conveniently awaiting us (it looked like the Planet Express ship on Futurama). The ship's computer (voiced by Sigourney Weaver, the go-to computer voice for shows like Wall•E and Futurama) shrunk the ship down so that it was small enough to fly through the heater vent. We blasted through and disappeared down the dark duct.
As we descended lower and lower, the dull metal sheets of the heating duct became more and more colorful, until it became apparent that the duct was now constructed of Legos. We saw two little Lego men strapped in harnesses, hanging from a rope and wearing headlamps on their helmets as they cleaned and repaired the Lego bricks in the tunnel (The Brothers Chaps remarked that they thought that would be a good idea for a cartoon). We finally reached the end of the tunnel and found ourselves hovering above a vast underground Lego city. We floated above a suburb with quaint little Lego houses lining the Lego streets, and there was a magnificent Lego skyline in the distance. But the houses and streets in the suburb were dark and abandoned, with blocks and bricks scattered across the roads as if some disaster had struck the town. We flew towards the center of the city to look for survivors. As we got closer to the city, we saw hundreds of little malnourished Lego people lying prostrate in the streets, moaning and trying to drag themselves towards the city center.
As we flew above the center of the city, we looked down at a large public square and saw a great gathering of Lego people who were hugging each other and rejoicing. We landed the ship (which was now made of Legos) and pushed through the crowd to find the cause of the celebration. At the center of the crowd, we saw a spider lifting an egg yolk above its head.
As we descended lower and lower, the dull metal sheets of the heating duct became more and more colorful, until it became apparent that the duct was now constructed of Legos. We saw two little Lego men strapped in harnesses, hanging from a rope and wearing headlamps on their helmets as they cleaned and repaired the Lego bricks in the tunnel (The Brothers Chaps remarked that they thought that would be a good idea for a cartoon). We finally reached the end of the tunnel and found ourselves hovering above a vast underground Lego city. We floated above a suburb with quaint little Lego houses lining the Lego streets, and there was a magnificent Lego skyline in the distance. But the houses and streets in the suburb were dark and abandoned, with blocks and bricks scattered across the roads as if some disaster had struck the town. We flew towards the center of the city to look for survivors. As we got closer to the city, we saw hundreds of little malnourished Lego people lying prostrate in the streets, moaning and trying to drag themselves towards the city center.
As we flew above the center of the city, we looked down at a large public square and saw a great gathering of Lego people who were hugging each other and rejoicing. We landed the ship (which was now made of Legos) and pushed through the crowd to find the cause of the celebration. At the center of the crowd, we saw a spider lifting an egg yolk above its head.
We determined that the diet of Lego people was egg yolks and that the yolk spiders had come to save them from a famine. My crack team all felt ashamed that we had come to kill the charitable creatures, so we volunteered to use our ship to help the spiders distribute the egg yolks to the desolate Lego people.
